Today is going to be the first day where I will attempt to kick a habit that has followed me for almost twenty years. I never started off this habit thinking it would last this long or even become a habit, but when you are young and naive you don't see the long term effects of a one try thing. So I am struggling with confidence right now because I feel like I am one with the addiction and it scares me to think I might fail. I know for my husband and children this is a must for their health as well as mine. I never thought something so small could have such a hold over my body. I know through prayers and constantly asking God for guidance is the key. So I will boldly ask God to step with me every single pace and guide me through the stressful times and around every temptation. Not sure if this is a good time to quit with my husbands Papa just passing yesterday but he had an addiction that took over him and eventually cost him his life through health conflicts. Now more than ever I see myself in that same hospital bed with my own children crying over me and asking me why I didn't quit. I know I cannot turn back the damage I have already done to my body but I can start to live each and every day fresh. I know this is a journey that will be achievable, because I have determination in everything I do. I just need to get past th psychological feelings of having to have this when I really don't need it. One step at a time and I may fall short, but I will get myself back up, dust myself off and go again. For my family, for me, for my future.
Day 1
KD
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